Let me introduce to you another experience with alternate transportation.... This is Old Boat:
But you know what? I was ready. I was ready to go out on a date, have a good time... and if nothing else eat a nice meal and maybe a beer or two. So who better to take advice from than my most recent ex boyfriend! Yeah, of course he knows the perfect guy for me.
No, he's not a contestant on the the bachelorette... but how awesome is this shot for his profile?
Let's get a little bit of background...
Single is something that takes a little getting used to. After being in a relationship for over a year with Mr. Tequila Train comments like "are you OKAY" and "I promise it will get better" are simply a buzz in my ear. My only response being: I'M FINE. REALLY. You can only avoid people for so long before they feel bad for you and start trying to set you up so you won't be alone in the nursing home (The great words of Patty from Millionaire Matchmaker)
It's not like I was lonely. I had friends and I had guy friends that would fulfill my flirting needs. But dating just really wasn't a priority of mine after a long hard breakup.
But you know what? I was ready. I was ready to go out on a date, have a good time... and if nothing else eat a nice meal and maybe a beer or two. So who better to take advice from than my most recent ex boyfriend! Yeah, of course he knows the perfect guy for me.
I might have been on drugs.
Who would do this to themselves?
I proceed with the blind-ish date. (I had met him once, briefly)
He picks me up and we head out to a secret location.
I already know we are going to a nearby town....
It's really pretty in the summer and I'm a really good guesser.
And then I killed it.
I asked/stated:
Me: "Please don't tell me we are going on a cruise....?"
OldBoat: "Uhhh why? do you get sea sick?"
Me: "Maybe..."
Here is the thing. I am SO appreciative the he spent the time/money/effort to take me out on this mini voyage, but once we walked toward the dock, we boarded the Fair Maiden along with the other couples. The only difference was we were about 30 years younger than EVERYONE.
I wasn't even on the boat and I wanted to jump ship.
Boy oh boy. That's mean, I know.
Let me give you the highlights:
1.Alcohol was not inclusive in the price of the cruise
2. It was a 30 minute drive just to get there.
3. Sitting with other old couples and they don't say a WORD to us.
4. The cruise was 3 hours
5. The food was cold
6. Did I mention I didn't bring my own cash... so I couldn't sneak a shot of tequila when I went to the bathroom?
Overall... the date was a dud. He fumbled a little as he gave me a hug goodbye and definitely got the cheek when he tried to plant one on me.
All in all it was a learning experience. Do not let your ex boyfriends pick new boyfriends for you.
No matter what they say, they are trying to get back at you.
I can honestly say... that was the first battle Mr. Tequila Train ever won.
P.s. I should really stick to normal forms of transportation. Maybe a nice bike ride?
