My cancer said.... "aww that's cute!"
I went in for my blood draw last week my results showed that my platelets were too low to receive chemo so I had to push treatment back. That rocked me in a way I was not expecting.
For the first time since my initial diagnosis I felt very out of control. Logically, I know... cancer and chemo have a mind of their own. They are battling it out inside my body. I am just the vessel that is containing them. Emotionally, I am so disappointed my body wasn't able to recuperate as fast as I wanted it to. So I took a day. I felt all my feelings allowed myself to mope, and by Wednesday I was back on my positivity bs :)
The hardest thing I had to come to terms with is that I can feel totally fine and normal but my labs can still be trash- as my lovely nurse put it. (seriously I have the best nurse!)
So I did what I do best and I made a plan. I followed a high antioxidant meal plan. I ate lean meats and kale by the buckets. I stuffed spinach into my smoothies and drank bone broth every morning in hopes my platelets would return to acceptable levels. And DID THEY EVER! They went from 77 to 187! I was elated. Honestly, I don't know if the diet attributed to my recovery but I do know I was fucking pumped to get my chemo yesterday. Isn't that something?
Moving forward I am going to try my best to just roll with it. Take the news as it comes and try not to let it get to me as much.
Hair update: Still there! And in fact, I am sprouting more grays... that's good news, I guess!
Best, Worst, I'll go first:
Best- Paolo and I got to get away for a little trip to Floridaaaaaa! He received an award for work and I got to tag along. We had oysters and seafood and matchas and went for nature walks. We saw a shark at the beach and got charged by a black bear! We had a great trip and it was so nice to spend the time together where we could have a conversation uninterrupted. But of course, Leona was the topic of about 50% of our convos.
Worst- I had a really stressful treatment week for round 2. Would love to spill the tea but I'm working on it with my therapist. I started therapy after thinking about it for months and I'm working through setting boundaries and forgiveness. I'm actually really proud of myself for this progress but it's still pretty uncomfortable. Currently I am working on a timeline of my life from birth until now and any significant events. It's a lot!
Your turn!
Thanks for following along, I really love seeing where in the world everyone is reading from! Feel free to leave a comment and tell me about yourself!
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Worst: my youngest caught hand foot and mouth disease, RSV, another double ear infection, and had three molars coming in last week. Between work, my husband working, and our baby melting into oblivion, I was a disaster. I would say it was my most stressful and overwhelming week as a parent thus far (probably minus the early days, but I don’t remember much because of hormones!)
Best: I got through it, though I was stressed out I didn’t freak out, and I leaned on friends and family that were there to support me. With my first kiddo, that would have been the most extremely difficult thing to do, but with my second, and a lot of therapy, I’m able to accept help, and lean into the chaos with a little bit less stress!